Sexual Abuse Action Plan
Please see my post on the age to get married and my future post on polygamy. I think that both of these things are important for the long term health of our community as mamlecheth Cohanim v'goy kadosh. But what about right now? What can we do to stop this horrible abomination in its tracks?
Please note that throughout this article, when I refer to children, I really mean all students even older ones who for halachic purposes are considered adults, and even 18 year olds who are adults in secular law. All are worthy of our protection. None may be left as prey for the beasts.
Fondling of a bochur is not the same crime as mishcav zachor, but according to all reports from psychologists and other experts in the field, even this has a devastating effect on the victim, causing shame and embarassment. Some children are plagued by flashbacks, feelings of shame and other deleterious effects well into their adult lives.
We teach our bochurim that they must be careful where they go and what they do, what kind of books they read. We forbid them to go to movies or watch television or read many magazines. Why? So that they will grow up bikedushah uv'taharah - in holiness and in purity. We forbid contact wih girls. We forbid the internet. We are very strict about any situation that may lead to hirhurim (lascivious thought) or chas v'shalom zera' l'vatala (seminal emmission).
How can we be careful about all of this, and yet refrain from a thorough investigation of each and every accusation of sexual abuse - whether it be fondling, mishcav, indecent exposure or whatever.
If a rebbe were suspected of having a television, he would be investigated and if found guilty would be fired (or perhaps just fired). If a rebbe were accused of being on the wrong chat room, imagine the ruckus.
How could it be that instead of investigating, we have silenced the victims.
I have not personally investigated any of the cases, but there is a concept of kola d'lo pasik - a rumor which does not quit. the rumors are to persistent and too consitent. We must save our children.
The question is what to do about it now.
According to statistics on the Awareness Center web site, http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/offenders.html
61% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.
84% of all rapes in the United States are Date (Acquaintance) Rapes
A woman is 5 times more likely to be raped by someone she knows.
57% of all sexual assaults take place on dates or in the context of relationship
If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of a felony conviction.
Is our goal in fact as a community to jail community members who have committed the horrible offense of molested the sanctity of our children? I think not. Our main goal must be to make our community a safe place to raise children bik'dushah uv'taharh - in holiness and purity.
There may now be a spirit of vengeance growing in our community, but the major issue is how to stop the abuse completely, not how to exact revenge on the perpetrators.
I am going to paraphrase from an article which I read over 30 years ago. Let no one think that I am a fan of the author or that I am accepting his p'shat (or d'rash, whatever it is) in the Torah. I am not even sure whether the article was written by Emanuel Rackman or Shmuel Belkin. I am not a fan of either one (putting it extremely charitably). Nevertheless, the concept was very interesting. I am putting it a little more frumly than the original article because I have a frummer perspective.
In any case, the article suggested that the reason for the system of arei miklat ( cities of refuge) for someone who unintentially killed someone else, was to remove them from society without them being a burden on society.
The one who killed must flee to the ir miklat. If he does not, the go'el hadam may kill him without any recourse to the Beith Din. Once he is in the ir miklat, he is safe. Beith Din gives him safe passage back to the trial. If it is found that he in fact killed in a manner for which he is to be exiled to the ir miklat, Beith Din will give him safe passage back. But if he sets foot outside of the ir miklat, he is subject to being killed by the go'el hadam. While he is in the ir miklat, he must support himself and he is away from the situation in which the manslaughter occured. Society does not have to worry about him any more.
This means that society does not need to expend effort to arrest and jail the accused. The accused knows that if he doesn't get to the ir miklat right away, he may be killed. Society doesn't need to expend funds on jails or jailors or guards or prison food. The convicted manslaughterer knows that if he leaves the ir miklat, he may be killed.
So the system which Hashem set up is extremely practical and efficient.
We need something practical and efficient to deal with the (I hope very few) child molesters amongst us.
I do not advocate mesirah - turning anyone over to the secular so called justice system. In addition, if only 1/16 of rapists are punished, it is very inefficient. We don't know what the statistics are for false convictions, but the increasing use of dna evidence for appeals at least gives certain anecdotal evidence that there are some. The police and the courts are not our friends.
The punishemnts of the secular system are also not the punishments of the Torah.
So what can we do?
As a general principal, capital punishment by the Sanhedrin ended even before the destruction of the Beith HaMikdash, when the Sanhedrin was exiled from the Lishcath Hagazith. Today, we do not have a Beith Din of s'muchim, we have no Sanhedrin at all (ignoring the group in Israel who claim to have re-established semicha and the Sanhedrin based on the Rambam).
Nevertheless, in Choshen Mishpat siman beith, s'iph aleph, the mechaber writes "Every Beith Din, even if they are not s'muchim in Israel, if they see that the people are actively sinning (and the time needs it) may judge cases of death, money, punishment, even when there isn't complete testimony and if he is powerful (violent) we punish him through goyim (and they have the authority to maphkir his money and to destroy it according to what they see in order to repair the breakdown in the generation) and all of their deeds should be for the sake of heaven. And davka the gadol hador or the leaders of the city that the Beith Din appointed over them". The Rama adds: "and that is how we are accustomed in every place, that the leaders of the city (tovei ha'ir) in their city are like the Great Beith Din (i.e. Sanhedrin of 71) and they give lashes and punish and the property which they declare ownerless is ownerless according to the custom". The Rama then discusses the dissenting opinion.
In Choshen Mishpat toph choph heh at the beginning, the Rama says "All those who are culpable for execution these days, we have not got the authority to flog them nor to exile them nor to kill them nor to bind them, rather we put him in cherem (excommunication) and separate him from the community. And all of this is according to the law. But if Beith Din sees that it is a necessity of the times to fence in the matter (i.e. to protect the community from sin and sinners) they may punish as they wish as mentioned above in s'iph beith. And only in the case of capital crimes which need beith din. But those who are killed outside of beith din are also judged nowadays as will be explained." [This means that in certain cases, such as a rodeph or a moser you don't need to get into the issue of a sinful generation or the needs of the times.]
This means that to purify society, the gadol hador, or the city's Beith Din or the elders of the city appointed by the Beith Din could even today use extreme and ultimate measures to rid our society of this problem, and most probably even if the case did not strictly call for capital punishment.
There are a number of problems with this. The first is that the likelihood of any gadol or any beith din to take it upon himself/itself to execute the child molestors is (as they say) slim to none, and slim has left town. And if they would do so, the likelihood is that there would be severe repercussions for them and for the rest of the Jewish community.
On the other hand, neither can the g'dolim and the battei din claim that there is nothing that they can do.
A more practical solution comes from the above discussion about arei hamiklat.
Let it be known that a) No abuse will be tolerated from now on period. b) Those who have abused in the past (and we can set a threshhold perhaps - if they did it to more than one person - or perhaps even once) will have the coming school year only to find other employment that does not involve contact with children in any capacity (not even as the clerk at a candy counter). This means not at schools, camps, youth groups, tutoring or anything else. c) Those abusers who continue in their employment in schools or other places where they have contact with children after the coming school year will be declared hephker and in cherem. So too anyone who abuses any child from now on, immediately with no grace period. The victims are authorized to take the property of the abusers, to push and shove them, to spread the word about them without the strictures of loshon hara, etcetera. Any shul which gives them cavod such as aliya to the Torah or shaliach tsibbur will be declared the same. d) If they leave their employment with children within the stated time period, their punishment will be left for Hashem to take care of. e) If they ever again put themselves in a position where children are exposed to them, all of c) above will apply immediately.
The abusers will have an incentive to leave temptation behind and to leave teaching. Their families will have an incentive to push the abusers to leave teaching in order to save themselves from further embarassment and shidduch repurcussions.
The victims who have suffered in silence and feel that in the past they have been betrayed, will see that their suffering was not unpunished in that the perpetrators were forced out of the schools, and will have the z'chuth to see the schools cleaned up.
We will have the zechuth to settle our problem without going to the goyim.
Unfortunately, the most impractical thing and difficult thing may be to get the rabbonim to act. If they can be forcefully shown the problem, and can forcefully be shown that the c'lal Yisroel will not tolerate it any more, and that the position of the Rabbonim is in jeopardy if they refuse to deal with this, then maybe they will.
There are those who will argue that this plan is too weak, has no teeth, will not be implemented. They will also say perhaps that we must not give these people a year in which to find other jobs. In fact, they argue, these abusers have a din of rodeph. On this basis, they justify turning the abusers over to the police. I think that the problem of turning Jews over to the police may be one of the reasons that many rabbonim are reluctant to get involved in fighting the abusers. Turning someone over to the police is a major thing, and under normal circumstances one who does so is classified as a moser and a moser himself has a din of rodeph. I am not poskening the sh'eilah here, I am merely saying that it is a major concern. It could be that rabbonim gedolim v'tovim mimeni will posken that in this case it is alllowed.
The article in New York magazine also said that Rav Pinchas Scheinberg said that as a matter of Jewish law, Kolko would have had to have more than just fondled them for the acts to qualify as sexual abuse. It is important to know exactly what was asked and exactly what was answered. It is obvious to anyone who knows Rav Scheinberg that he did not say that it was ok for Kolko or any other teacher to fondle a student. It is possile that he said that fondling, as opposed to mishcav zachor, is not sufficient reason to classify Kolko as a rodeph whom one is allowed to kill or turn over to the police, even though of course it is a very bad thing. If that is what he said, than I would accept his judgement, but obviously the man can't (assuming that it is all true) be allowed to have contact with children any more.
There are those who, despite what is supposedly Rav Scheinbergs opinion, insist that these abusers have a din of Rodeph. What is the din of rodeph? the classical din of rodeph is if R'uvein is chasing Shim'on in order to kill him, or R'uvein is chasing after an ervah ( a person forbidden to him sexually, including another man or boy) in order to have sexually intercourse with her or him, then R'uvein is a rodeph and everyone is commanded to save the one who is being pursued, even if it necessary to kill R'uvein to do so. However, if it is possible to save the pursued one by cutting off a limb, he is not supposed to kill R'uvein. These laws are discussed in Choshen Mishpat toph coph heh. The killing of a rodeph is also allowed nowadays, even though there is no Sanhedrin. If one is certain that the person has a din of Rodeph, it is not necessary to seek Beith Din approval if speed is important.
If these people really believe that the alleged (or actual) abusers have a din of rodeph, their duty is clear. This duty may not however permit destroying the abuser's family, and it may not permit putting the abuser in a position where he will be raped (extremely common in United States prisons) even if you think that it is mida c'neged mida.
Please note that throughout this article, when I refer to children, I really mean all students even older ones who for halachic purposes are considered adults, and even 18 year olds who are adults in secular law. All are worthy of our protection. None may be left as prey for the beasts.
Fondling of a bochur is not the same crime as mishcav zachor, but according to all reports from psychologists and other experts in the field, even this has a devastating effect on the victim, causing shame and embarassment. Some children are plagued by flashbacks, feelings of shame and other deleterious effects well into their adult lives.
We teach our bochurim that they must be careful where they go and what they do, what kind of books they read. We forbid them to go to movies or watch television or read many magazines. Why? So that they will grow up bikedushah uv'taharah - in holiness and in purity. We forbid contact wih girls. We forbid the internet. We are very strict about any situation that may lead to hirhurim (lascivious thought) or chas v'shalom zera' l'vatala (seminal emmission).
How can we be careful about all of this, and yet refrain from a thorough investigation of each and every accusation of sexual abuse - whether it be fondling, mishcav, indecent exposure or whatever.
If a rebbe were suspected of having a television, he would be investigated and if found guilty would be fired (or perhaps just fired). If a rebbe were accused of being on the wrong chat room, imagine the ruckus.
How could it be that instead of investigating, we have silenced the victims.
I have not personally investigated any of the cases, but there is a concept of kola d'lo pasik - a rumor which does not quit. the rumors are to persistent and too consitent. We must save our children.
The question is what to do about it now.
According to statistics on the Awareness Center web site, http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/offenders.html
61% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.
84% of all rapes in the United States are Date (Acquaintance) Rapes
A woman is 5 times more likely to be raped by someone she knows.
57% of all sexual assaults take place on dates or in the context of relationship
If the rape is reported to police, there is a 50.8% chance that an arrest will be made.
If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of a felony conviction.
If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
So, even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.
Factoring in unreported rapes, about 6% of rapists—1 out of 16— will ever spend a day in jail. 15 out of 16 will walk free. According to the US Department of Justice.
Is our goal in fact as a community to jail community members who have committed the horrible offense of molested the sanctity of our children? I think not. Our main goal must be to make our community a safe place to raise children bik'dushah uv'taharh - in holiness and purity.
There may now be a spirit of vengeance growing in our community, but the major issue is how to stop the abuse completely, not how to exact revenge on the perpetrators.
I am going to paraphrase from an article which I read over 30 years ago. Let no one think that I am a fan of the author or that I am accepting his p'shat (or d'rash, whatever it is) in the Torah. I am not even sure whether the article was written by Emanuel Rackman or Shmuel Belkin. I am not a fan of either one (putting it extremely charitably). Nevertheless, the concept was very interesting. I am putting it a little more frumly than the original article because I have a frummer perspective.
In any case, the article suggested that the reason for the system of arei miklat ( cities of refuge) for someone who unintentially killed someone else, was to remove them from society without them being a burden on society.
The one who killed must flee to the ir miklat. If he does not, the go'el hadam may kill him without any recourse to the Beith Din. Once he is in the ir miklat, he is safe. Beith Din gives him safe passage back to the trial. If it is found that he in fact killed in a manner for which he is to be exiled to the ir miklat, Beith Din will give him safe passage back. But if he sets foot outside of the ir miklat, he is subject to being killed by the go'el hadam. While he is in the ir miklat, he must support himself and he is away from the situation in which the manslaughter occured. Society does not have to worry about him any more.
This means that society does not need to expend effort to arrest and jail the accused. The accused knows that if he doesn't get to the ir miklat right away, he may be killed. Society doesn't need to expend funds on jails or jailors or guards or prison food. The convicted manslaughterer knows that if he leaves the ir miklat, he may be killed.
So the system which Hashem set up is extremely practical and efficient.
We need something practical and efficient to deal with the (I hope very few) child molesters amongst us.
I do not advocate mesirah - turning anyone over to the secular so called justice system. In addition, if only 1/16 of rapists are punished, it is very inefficient. We don't know what the statistics are for false convictions, but the increasing use of dna evidence for appeals at least gives certain anecdotal evidence that there are some. The police and the courts are not our friends.
The punishemnts of the secular system are also not the punishments of the Torah.
So what can we do?
As a general principal, capital punishment by the Sanhedrin ended even before the destruction of the Beith HaMikdash, when the Sanhedrin was exiled from the Lishcath Hagazith. Today, we do not have a Beith Din of s'muchim, we have no Sanhedrin at all (ignoring the group in Israel who claim to have re-established semicha and the Sanhedrin based on the Rambam).
Nevertheless, in Choshen Mishpat siman beith, s'iph aleph, the mechaber writes "Every Beith Din, even if they are not s'muchim in Israel, if they see that the people are actively sinning (and the time needs it) may judge cases of death, money, punishment, even when there isn't complete testimony and if he is powerful (violent) we punish him through goyim (and they have the authority to maphkir his money and to destroy it according to what they see in order to repair the breakdown in the generation) and all of their deeds should be for the sake of heaven. And davka the gadol hador or the leaders of the city that the Beith Din appointed over them". The Rama adds: "and that is how we are accustomed in every place, that the leaders of the city (tovei ha'ir) in their city are like the Great Beith Din (i.e. Sanhedrin of 71) and they give lashes and punish and the property which they declare ownerless is ownerless according to the custom". The Rama then discusses the dissenting opinion.
In Choshen Mishpat toph choph heh at the beginning, the Rama says "All those who are culpable for execution these days, we have not got the authority to flog them nor to exile them nor to kill them nor to bind them, rather we put him in cherem (excommunication) and separate him from the community. And all of this is according to the law. But if Beith Din sees that it is a necessity of the times to fence in the matter (i.e. to protect the community from sin and sinners) they may punish as they wish as mentioned above in s'iph beith. And only in the case of capital crimes which need beith din. But those who are killed outside of beith din are also judged nowadays as will be explained." [This means that in certain cases, such as a rodeph or a moser you don't need to get into the issue of a sinful generation or the needs of the times.]
This means that to purify society, the gadol hador, or the city's Beith Din or the elders of the city appointed by the Beith Din could even today use extreme and ultimate measures to rid our society of this problem, and most probably even if the case did not strictly call for capital punishment.
There are a number of problems with this. The first is that the likelihood of any gadol or any beith din to take it upon himself/itself to execute the child molestors is (as they say) slim to none, and slim has left town. And if they would do so, the likelihood is that there would be severe repercussions for them and for the rest of the Jewish community.
On the other hand, neither can the g'dolim and the battei din claim that there is nothing that they can do.
A more practical solution comes from the above discussion about arei hamiklat.
Let it be known that a) No abuse will be tolerated from now on period. b) Those who have abused in the past (and we can set a threshhold perhaps - if they did it to more than one person - or perhaps even once) will have the coming school year only to find other employment that does not involve contact with children in any capacity (not even as the clerk at a candy counter). This means not at schools, camps, youth groups, tutoring or anything else. c) Those abusers who continue in their employment in schools or other places where they have contact with children after the coming school year will be declared hephker and in cherem. So too anyone who abuses any child from now on, immediately with no grace period. The victims are authorized to take the property of the abusers, to push and shove them, to spread the word about them without the strictures of loshon hara, etcetera. Any shul which gives them cavod such as aliya to the Torah or shaliach tsibbur will be declared the same. d) If they leave their employment with children within the stated time period, their punishment will be left for Hashem to take care of. e) If they ever again put themselves in a position where children are exposed to them, all of c) above will apply immediately.
The abusers will have an incentive to leave temptation behind and to leave teaching. Their families will have an incentive to push the abusers to leave teaching in order to save themselves from further embarassment and shidduch repurcussions.
The victims who have suffered in silence and feel that in the past they have been betrayed, will see that their suffering was not unpunished in that the perpetrators were forced out of the schools, and will have the z'chuth to see the schools cleaned up.
We will have the zechuth to settle our problem without going to the goyim.
Unfortunately, the most impractical thing and difficult thing may be to get the rabbonim to act. If they can be forcefully shown the problem, and can forcefully be shown that the c'lal Yisroel will not tolerate it any more, and that the position of the Rabbonim is in jeopardy if they refuse to deal with this, then maybe they will.
There are those who will argue that this plan is too weak, has no teeth, will not be implemented. They will also say perhaps that we must not give these people a year in which to find other jobs. In fact, they argue, these abusers have a din of rodeph. On this basis, they justify turning the abusers over to the police. I think that the problem of turning Jews over to the police may be one of the reasons that many rabbonim are reluctant to get involved in fighting the abusers. Turning someone over to the police is a major thing, and under normal circumstances one who does so is classified as a moser and a moser himself has a din of rodeph. I am not poskening the sh'eilah here, I am merely saying that it is a major concern. It could be that rabbonim gedolim v'tovim mimeni will posken that in this case it is alllowed.
The article in New York magazine also said that Rav Pinchas Scheinberg said that as a matter of Jewish law, Kolko would have had to have more than just fondled them for the acts to qualify as sexual abuse. It is important to know exactly what was asked and exactly what was answered. It is obvious to anyone who knows Rav Scheinberg that he did not say that it was ok for Kolko or any other teacher to fondle a student. It is possile that he said that fondling, as opposed to mishcav zachor, is not sufficient reason to classify Kolko as a rodeph whom one is allowed to kill or turn over to the police, even though of course it is a very bad thing. If that is what he said, than I would accept his judgement, but obviously the man can't (assuming that it is all true) be allowed to have contact with children any more.
There are those who, despite what is supposedly Rav Scheinbergs opinion, insist that these abusers have a din of Rodeph. What is the din of rodeph? the classical din of rodeph is if R'uvein is chasing Shim'on in order to kill him, or R'uvein is chasing after an ervah ( a person forbidden to him sexually, including another man or boy) in order to have sexually intercourse with her or him, then R'uvein is a rodeph and everyone is commanded to save the one who is being pursued, even if it necessary to kill R'uvein to do so. However, if it is possible to save the pursued one by cutting off a limb, he is not supposed to kill R'uvein. These laws are discussed in Choshen Mishpat toph coph heh. The killing of a rodeph is also allowed nowadays, even though there is no Sanhedrin. If one is certain that the person has a din of Rodeph, it is not necessary to seek Beith Din approval if speed is important.
If these people really believe that the alleged (or actual) abusers have a din of rodeph, their duty is clear. This duty may not however permit destroying the abuser's family, and it may not permit putting the abuser in a position where he will be raped (extremely common in United States prisons) even if you think that it is mida c'neged mida.
posted by emeslyaakov | 5:32 AM
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